Hello Friends! Sorry for the delayed post, I spent all day at the vet yesterday because my cat needed to have surgery. Thankfully, he’s recovering safely and will soon resume his schedule of doing whatever cats do all day.

Today’s lovely house is the epitome of “build lots of house on cheap land in the middle of nowhere.”

This wonderful 2004 estate, complete with treeless yard, comes in at around 6,000 square feet, featuring 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms. It can be yours for the low price of almost $700,000!

Sadly, there were no foyer pictures so we’ll have to start with the ubiquitous great room.

Gr8 R00m

Anyone want to take bets as to whether or not the “freedom fries” controversy will resurface in 2017? It seems unusually plausible.

Dining Room

Real talk: thick rugs beneath dining room chairs make getting up from the table a hellish nightmare. Whom among us has not accidentally gotten the rug caught in the feet of the chair, scandalously exposing the runner beneath? Devastating, just devastating.

Kitchen

Sorry, friends - I’m from North Carolina. There aren’t many states with worse schools than North Carolina, so I have to get my salty digs in where I can.

Living Room

Re: that ceiling, I’m just gonna leave this here:

Master Bedroom

I’m not even kidding about the bed. When I look at McMansions, I swear I see it at least once, in every single state I’ve been in. Also that ceiling is art.

Master Bath

THERE IS A TV IN THE SHOWER. This is peak 2004, y’all.

Bedroom #2

FYI interrupted rants are my favorite genre of twitter joke at the current moment. Also the single recessed light is a poignant metaphor for (something tongue and cheek with slightly political undertones.)

Bedroom #3

Let this be a lesson in how not to fill a small, oddly-shaped bedroom. It’s worth noting that this house has a peculiar habit of replacing what would normally be windows with ~~French~~ Freedom doors.

Attic/Rec Room

You know, most of us don’t have the luxury of having remote parts of our house where we can stow away the things we thought would enrich our lives. Most of us have to look those objects in the face everyday, reminded that we’ll never have the patience to learn how to play more than a C major scale and Chopsticks on the piano - that’s just the kind of person we are.

Anyways, that does it for the interior. Now for our favorite part:

Rear Exterior

I wonder what @goodporchesgreatporches has to say about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Outdoor Leisure Space?

That does it for Mississippi’s McMansion! Stay tuned for tomorrow’s “Looking Around” and next Thursday’s Missouri McMansion!

If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon! Also JUST A HEADS UP - I’ve started posting a GOOD HOUSE built since 1980 from the area where I picked this week’s McMansion as bonus content on Patreon!

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Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs in this post are publicly available and are used in this post for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC §107. Manipulated photos are considered derivative work and are Copyright © 2017 McMansion Hell. Please email kate@mcmansionhell.com before using these images on another site. (am v chill about this)

50 States of McMansion Hell: Rankin County, Mississippi