Announcing the Winners of the 2019 McGingerbread Hell Competition
Wow! It was another great year for the McGingerbread Hell Gingerbread
House Competition! The judges had their work cut out for them selecting
between so many fine selections. Congratulations and great job to
everyone who submitted an entry in this year’s contest. However, only
six houses could make the cut.
Let’s start out with announcing the winners for Honorable Mention.
Honorable Mention: Priced to Sell! by Tina B.
The judges were wowed by the impressive nub, the tumorous turret, and the fantastically mismatched windows.
Quote from the Project Description: A true GEM of a house! 6,738 SF beautifully set on .23 parklike acres. Mediterranian villa in front, stately Federal in the back; it’s the mullet of houses!…Entertain in your beautiful backyard featuring a real StoneTek™ patio! The heavily pruned weeping cherry tree will be a real showstopper in 30-40 years! The largest roof in the neighborhood has Chex shingle roof in molasses brown. 4 BR / 5.5 BA / $899,000 / Days on market - 923
Honorable Mention: Festive Roofline Soup by Jessica C.
The judges LOVED the complexity of the roofline, the absurd gabling, and the 3 car garage.
Quote from the Project Description: Features include: • Flaked almond shingles covering a roofline so complex that it required trigonometrical expertise from my math teacher father to work out measurements…[and] A low maintenance yard as the house takes up almost the entire block! Now accepting offers; the sellers are motivated as the couple are in the middle of divorce proceedings.
Honorable Mention: Vinyl Vanity by Joseph & Kayla S.
The judges were impressed by the impressive garage to roof ratio, the roof detailings, the candy-cane columns, and excellent lawyer foyer.
Quote from the Project Description: This 2 square foot, two and a half story Craftsmen Tudor Post Classical Revival estate is the luxurious home that your friends and neighbors never wanted…The car is truly the heart of Tudor England, so we put the garage proudly up front, where the yawning chasm of the door greets the outside world with disdain…Be sure to schedule your private tour soon, this edifice is sure to not last long. On the market. If you’re curious about the price, you’re probably too economically responsible for this property.
And now, our top 3:
Third Place: A Jersey Thing by Nùria O.
Judges were
impressed by the size, shape, and meticulous detailing of the project,
which is reminiscent of a truly terrible McModern. Anjulie, seeing the
size of the huge roof said “this is some sustainable sh*t.” This project captures the true McMansion ethos in truly making us say “what the hell is going on here?”
Project Description: Inspired by a beatiful RealLife™ McMansion™ in Beach Haven, NJ, this
year’s featured McGingerbread mansion is a modern 5-bedroom, 16-bathroom
home made entirely in construction-grade gingerbread and held together
with royal icing made from free-range egg whites. The nonpareil- and
sugar-crystal-covered walls provide both isolation from stormy weather
and give a vintage air to counterbalance the futuristic lines of the
design…On the back of the house, you
can walk out to a large deck (perfect for entertainment) boasting a
valuable one-piece handrail. From there you can access the beautiful
mediterranean garden, set in candy charcoal and stones, environmentally
friendly as it’s practically maintenance free. Don’t miss your chance to
visit this unique home—feel the sugar rush!
Second Place: Victorian Opulence by Beth & Tina C.
Reigning McGingerbread champs Beth & Tina C. returned to the scene this year with yet another gorgeous gingerbread. Judges were wowed by the complexity and scale of the project. Sarah was impressed by the intricate piping and lots of frilly details, and the homage to the traditional Victorian gingerbread form. Anjulie described it as “unbearably neat” - she loved the uncantilevered bay window, the detached garage that makes entryway irrelevant, and the hilarious-front balcoiny with half-wall (not code compliant). Kate was impressed by the detailing and the extensive cantilevers which too serious structural engineering to pull off.
Project description: New from the creators that brought you a true monstrosity last year: The Victorian Opulence! Featuring a lovely wrap around porch, adorable detached garage, and a truly magnificent waterfall in the backyard, this monolith of a house features thee decks overlooking somewhat patchy but still rescueable landscaping. Other features include an outdoor patio, a tower for all your princess capturing needs, and a truly cursed facade featuring a curved roof of all things! With several nubbins featuring windows, there is no angle on this house you can’t see out of! Standing at nearly 2 feet tall and with an approximate total floor area of 550 square inches-excluding outdoor seating area-this Victorian style home will surely be the envy of all the gingerbread men in your country club. (Snow removal not included as part of HOA membership fees.)
And finally…
First Prize: Simply Having a Wonderful Building Crime by Erin E.
The judges all agreed: this house was outrageous - its execution was fantastic, and its design was full of so many delightful, humorous details. Sarah remarked: “This one is perfectly McMasion-scaled, with weirdly placed windows and gratuitous features to boot.” Anjulie couldn’t sing the praises enough: “I was particularly taken with the garage that is so far detached it makes the front door totally irrelevant…it’s a castle of grand sadness. The Pete Buttigieg sign is the literal icing on top.” Kate loved the details: the Pete sign, the ridiculously diverse selection of windows, the piped on invasive plants and basketball hoop, and the glass and siding effects. Part of the competition lies in its absurdity and humor, and in that particular category, this house took the cake.
Project description: This home Defies the Ordinary. Located on a 2.3 acre lot, you’ll be the
envy of all your neighbors–and can watch from the top of the turret to
be sure they’re suitably jealous! Enjoy sitting al fresco under the
portico above the garage, or on the hand-laid M&M stone patio! The
two-story entryway accounts for just a few of the more than 60 sugar
glass windows! All of the walls join up exactly where the architect
expected them to, and no windows were covered up on accident!!!
Constructed over two weeks, out of ten pounds of flour, four pounds of powdered sugar, and more than half a gallon of corn syrup, this modest four-story house will surely stand the test of time. It’s been meticulously decorated with royal icing vines, wreaths, and Christmas lights, and landscaped with gingerbread boulders, definitely-naturally-this-green icing grass, and coconut macaroon topiary. The roof stands at 17 inches high, and is crafted from waffle cookie shingles over gingerbread rafters. For sale for just $1,895,000, this house is just perfect for new families or young professionals just starting out!
Special thanks to everyone who entered this year and to our judges Sarah Archer and Anjulie Rao for their contributions in pulling off yet another successful entry our search for the Gingerbread McMansion Hall of Fame!
See you next week with this month’s 1970 McMansion.
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