McMansion Hell Does Architectural Theory (Part 3): British Palladianism

Hello Friends! Today we’re going to talk about a rather short-lived movement in late 17th, early-18th century architecture: British Palladianism, which is v “Palladio is great and I, an aristocrat, will only pay you if you design in reference to his style.” Of course it goes deeper than that, so, let’s begin! 

Background

In previous installations of this series, we’ve talked about the Italians and the French, but what the heck was happening in Britain all this time? Well, the answer is:

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Seriously. The dang Brits were at war all the time - colonializing everything, sinking all of Spain’s ships, creating their own cool church bc their king wanted a son etc. 

Because of all this dang war, architecture in Britain for a long time was a messy hodgepodge of stylistic elements. Examples range from Henry VIII’s Windsor Castle Gatehouse (OG Tudor, though ostensibly Gothic) to the more classically-oriented but still rather Gothic Old Somerset House (completed in 1552) (demolished).  According to Mallgrave’s Architectural Theory (a great anthology), most of the classically inspired elements on pre-17th Century British buildings can be traced to Italian or French artisans. Oh well. 

Early English Classicism (Late 17th Century)

It wasn’t until the 17th century (v late) that classicism became a big deal in England. The first real-deal English classicist was the badass-ly named Inigo Jones, who actually went to Italy for a year (1613-14) where he encountered the work of Palladio for the first time – which, needless to say blew his damn mind. Jones became the first British architect to have designed buildings in accordance to Vitruvian teachings and classical proportions.

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The Dude Jones got into architecture through a weird angle: he was first a prominent set and costume designer for several English theatres. His Italian journey proved fruitful for him career-wise - many of the higher-ups were impressed with Jones’ knowledge of Italian aesthetics, and he was shortly appointed as the Surveyor to the Prince of Wales, before hella upgrading to being Surveyor of the King’s Works in 1615.

Jones’ earliest known architectural work (appropriately called Queen’s House), built for James I’s wife, Anne (who died before it was finished), was the first ever classically styled building in England. I mean, it’s great - just look at it. 

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Photo by Bill Bertram (CC-BY-SA 2.5)

While Jones would go on to design a smattering of buildings, a great deal of his work was lost both in the English Civil War and in the 1666 Great Fire of London. Despite these minor setbacks, Jones’ is still considered to be among England’s greatest architects whose influence would span two centuries worth of British architectural technique.

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Get it? It’s lit? Because half of his stuff got torched? I’m sorry.

As far as architectural theory goes during this era of budding classicism, the closest clue we have is the work of Henry Wotton, the British ambassador to Venice, who got so hellaciously sloshed on Italian architecture while he was there that he decided to write a book about it called The Elements of Architecture (1624), outlining his special interpretation of classical architecture. 

Wotton’s book was mostly a translation of Vitruvius with a little bit of Renaissance thought (a la Alberti and Palladio) thrown in. The most well-known snippet is his translation of the Vitruvian triad as “firmness, commodity, and delight” - an architectural catchphrase that often finds its way into contemporary architectural histories, though more accurate translations have been proposed:

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Change in this line of thought came with Jones’ later successor, Christopher Wren. Unlike Jones who was rather rigorous in his classicism, Wren was a bit more…capricious. In fact, he even built in the Gothic style at the end of his long career (the dude built 45 churches alone) - a move that would have likely put Perrault and Blondel both in an early grave. 

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Dude doesn’t even need the sunglasses, he’s throwing so much shade in this pic.

Wren’s ideas about architecture, encapsulated in his Tracts on Architecture (1670s) are varied. In Tract I, Wren opens up with the ballsy af statement: “Architecture has its political Use,” - that is, buildings form the national identity of a country and inspire patriotism amongst its citizens. This itself is a hot take, but it gets even hotter.

Like Perrault, Wren’s ideas about beauty are split into what he calls “natural” and “customary” beauty. Natural beauty consists of geometry, aka Proportions, following in the Platonic tradition® of an absolute beauty or harmony, inherently pleasing to all of us. Customary beauty, however, is more vague - Wren describes it as: “the use of our Senses to those Objects which are usually pleasing to us for other Causes, as Familiarity or particular Inclination breeds a Love to Things not in themselves lovely.”

Basically, we like certain things for some dumb reason like feelings and stuff.

In his second Tract, Wren gripes about architecture being “too strick and pedantick.” This makes sense, because Wren was really into blending a variety of interesting styles together, which was perhaps problematic to some.

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Enter the Moralists

One person who was particularly sick of Wren’s sh*t was Anthony Ashley Cooper, Third Earl of Shaftesbury, who, in addition to being an Earl, was also a writer and philosopher. (He was notably taught at a young age by none other than John Locke, the guy you learned about in Civics class once.)

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Shaftesbury hated (!!!) the Baroque stylings of Wren’s late work, as well as the next generation of architects including John Vanbrugh and Nicholas Hawksmoor, deeming the pair’s Baroque-leaning Blenheim Palace “a new palace spoilt.” In fact, he wrote a very amusingly scathing essay in 1712 basically saying that Britain was literally *THE BEST* at all of the other arts except for architecture, after which he proceeds to take a huge dump all over the architecture of the day.

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Photo by Derova, (CC-BY-2.0)

Shaftesbury tried to sniff out a philosophical basis for Platonic thought regarding absolute beauty and harmonic proportions. What he came up with is essentially moralism, claiming that in order to be able to perceive the naturally good and beautiful ideas in art, one must themselves be naturally good and beautiful on the inside.™ Good taste comes from good inner resolve® to be true to what we know is true beauty and not be swayed by the evils of fashion™ blah blah blah.

The Height of British Palladianism 

This line of thought continued within what was now deemed British Palladianism (a movement whose discourse consisted mostly of wealthy Earls tutting at each other). British Palladianism saw several architects (Colin Campbell, Nicholas Du Bois, and William Kent, specifically) launch their own careers by releasing translations or new editions of works by Vitruvius, Palladio, and Jones, respectively with some pithy bits in the introductions haranguing the “ridiculous mixture of Gothick and Roman” of the previous generation thrown in for good measure.

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Like all movements, the Palladian movement had its own shadowy figurehead, who funded the work of several of the architects working in the 1720s - Richard Boyle, Third Earl of Burlington.

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Burlington was extremely wealthy, and spent most of his time being a total dilettante architect, traveling to Italy to collect manuscripts of Palladio and the like. In fact, Burlington fired Colin Campbell (the English Vitruvius!!) from working on his Piccadilly Villa because apparently Campbell’s classicism was **just not pure enough** for the good Earl, who decided he should just build his damn villa himself.

Burlington’s ruthless aesthetic commitment had a huge impact on the contemporary architects of the day, most of whom he fired. Of the ones he did not fire (aka he did not hire them in the first place), Robert Morris, the most prolific writer of the Palladian movement, is perhaps the most significant. Morris’s work chronicles not only the dawn and spirit of the movement but also its decline.

Morris’s 1728 essay “An Essay in Defense of Ancient Architecture” is about exactly what you would expect:

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(((Tutting intensifies)))

The essay of course devolves from tutting critique to legit 17th century fanfiction:

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I-Inigo-sama!!! <3

The End of an Era, I Guess

Jokes aside (yours truly used to ship historical figures back in my 7th grade fanfiction days and is not proud), Morris would take a rather different tone in 1739, in an essay commonly cited as a hint to the movement’s end, “An Essay upon Harmony.”

This essay breaks away from the Platonic ideas of absolute beauty, and instead breaks beauty up into several different categories - a relativist aesthetics coming from a contemporary movement (mostly in landscape architecture) called the picturesque, or picturesque theory, which will be the subject of next week’s post.

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“In Harmony,” writes Morris, “there are three general Divisions, which may be distinguish’d by the Terms, Ideal, Oral, and Ocular.”

The Ideal is of course numbers and, duh, proportions. Oral harmony is how things are related to each other, with a v Plato allusion to musical harmony. Old news, right? 

But it’s Ocular harmony that offers a glimpse into what will ultimately be a much more powerful movement, spanning (serious, not dilettante) philosophy, art, and of course architecture: the picturesque and the sublime, supported by John Locke & Co.’s empiricism (but we’ll get to that).

Ocular harmony is the harmony of nature in its natural state - both “Animate” (animals, insects, also beauty and perfection, apparently) and “inanimate” (hills, woods, valleys, scenery - “noble, rural, and pleasing.”)

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Morris’ ideas are ones of subjectivity, blind sensation to what is and is not lovely, rather than dictated ideas of aesthetic morality. He later goes on to say that in architecture, “The Proportion should be with respect to the Situation; the Dress, Decoration, and Materials should be adapted to the Propriety and Elegance of the Situation and Convenience…”

If that’s not the antithesis to Burlington’s objective classicist purity, I don’t know what is. And so, the bell finally tolls on British Palladianism.

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Photo by Chris Nyborg, (CC-BY-SA 3.0)

I hope you enjoyed this bit of (admittedly long-overdue) tutting. Stay tuned for Wednesday’s Maine McMansion, and next Sunday’s installment where I trash talk a bunch of dudes who are way too into gardens.

If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon! Not into small donations and sick bonus content? Check out the McMansion Hell Store - 30% goes to charity.

Copyright Disclaimer: All photos without captioned credit are from the Public Domain. Manipulated photos are considered derivative work and are Copyright © 2017 McMansion Hell. Please email kate@mcmansionhell.com before using these images on another site. (am v chill about this)

50 States of McMansion Hell: Oldham County, Kentucky

Hello Friends! Like most small children who go on summer vacation after spectacularly arduous finals, the days for me have begun to blur together and it was only this afternoon that I realized today was not in fact Wednesday. 

Anyway, apologies to the horse people on the internet, I seem to have found the only dang house in Kentucky without horses, but to be fair, the horses didn’t do anything to deserve my wrath. In fact, I don’t know why horses put up with all our dumb human BS. Horses of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your reins! Just remember what happened to Cobalt in The Saddle Club!!!! 

Like most weird girls, I, too, used to read too many horse books as a kid. 

Anyways:

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This lovely 2003 house boasts 4 bedrooms and 4.5 baths, pushing a total of ~6000 square feet. It can be yours for just under $800,000! 

Sadly, there are no dank lawyer foyer pics, so we’re gonna start with the 

Living Room

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RIP Hobbes

Dining Room

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Nothing says passion like painting every visible surface red. I mean, those lampshades could def get an indifferent spouse rowdy, see what I’m saying?

Kitchen 

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Like Willy Wonka, I have little patience for gum chewers, especially smackers. 

Also trying to cook from a cooking show seems like such a hassle before DVR.

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Lady_Marmalade.mp3

Office

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Pay attention, friends, this room is to set the tone for the rest of the post. Also Confession: The Notebook made me cry like a weenie in the 9th grade. 

Master Bedroom

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Personally, I keep fresh sheets and pillowcases in my bedside drawer, along with a copy of Panic! At the Disco’s first album. Anyways, are the Red Hat Ladies even around anymore??? That stuff was a staple of 90s Hallmark stores. In fact, I’m pretty sure they’re the ones responsible for the whole Live Love Laugh thing. The arch-trolls of our generation.

Master Bath

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Maybe if I quit eating avocado toast (I’m sorry I’m never going to get over how extremely dumb that article is) I’ll be able to afford some bathtub plants and a mortgage. 

Bedroom 2

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This kid must at least be in college by now, so that bedspread is a little unusual. I mean, I’m not judging - my bedspread has rowhouses on it. 

Bedroom 3

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I remember the good ol’ days when yours truly was a bona fide member of the Myspace group “NO PREPS ALLOWED”

MAN CAVE (It has a sign)

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We artsy fartsy folks love to lay the crap on college athletes, finding them undeserving of coveted scholarships just because they trained their bodies to do dumb crap involving balls. However, when I read this essay in 2011, it really changed the way I saw college athletes - they might get their school paid for but they get punished in so many other ways. 

Still, like most artsy fartsy people, I intensely dislike sports because I am not good at them. 

Bar

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Can’t wait to spill red wine on a beige carpet.

Den

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I now intensely believe the theory that red walls make you agitated and irritable because I am those things. Also there’s ur dang horse, Kentucky people.

Finally, our tour comes to an end.

Rear Exterior

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Can’t wait to have that damask wrought iron branding right on the ol’ bummeroo.

Anyways, that’s it for Kentucky - Join me on Sunday for a long-awaited post about 18th Century architectural theory, and next Wednesday’s Maine McMansion! 

If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon!  Also JUST A HEADS UP - I’ve started posting a GOOD HOUSE built since 1980 from the area where I picked this week’s McMansion as Wednesday bonus content on Patreon! Not into small donations and sick bonus content? Check out the McMansion Hell Store - 100% goes to charity.

Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs in this post are from real estate aggregate Zillow.com and are used in this post for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC §107. Manipulated photos are considered derivative work and are Copyright © 2017 McMansion Hell. Please email kate@mcmansionhell.com before using these images on another site. (am v chill about this)

50 States of McMansion Hell: New Orleans, Louisiana

Hello Friends! I hope you like Cajun spicy, because boy this house is…not that. 

I’m going to refer to making jokes about a certain fast food chain or a certain holiday that celebrates the coming of Lent because I like to challenge myself comedically and not resort to place-based stereotypes because I’m from North Carolina and it hurts. 

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This classic and totally vernacular 2004 house boasts 4 bedrooms, 4.5 baths, of which only 2 are shown in the real estate listing much to my dismay. It can be yours for just over $1 million USD - about how much it’s gonna cost for the pringles can power bill. 

Lawyer Foyer

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“Harry Potter should just pull himself up by his bootstraps so he can have an under the stairway bit that looks like this instead of being a whiny brat.”

I mean, Harry is whiny though. 

ALSO I HOPE YOU LIKE LOOKING AT THESE PEOPLE’S KIDS BECAUSE BOY HOWDY 

Dining Room

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Gosh, mentioning Prince AND Farrah Fawcett in one picture - how old am I again??? Also I am astonished at the level of coordination in this room. I wish my life were this together. 

Great Room

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Am I the only one who loves when the TV is bigger than the fireplace?I read it as entertainment > warmth. 

Kitchen

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aww yiss:

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Not to be confused with crookery, which also happened in the 70s. 

Office

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To be fair, when mom’s job is selling It Works!™ products to her friends and dad is an executive at the golf course factory, the desk size disparity is fair.

Master Bed

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did i mention the kids yet?

Master Bath

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Man, I hope the 2 people who yell at me for making Donald Trump jokes know that his apartment literally looks like this. 

Literally the only other bedroom pictured in this house

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“Romeo, Romeo please get me the hell out of here mom wants to get our portraits taken for literally the second time this month I don’t know if I can do this anymore no matter where I go I am surrounded by infinite permutations of my own face oh god.”

Den

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The tiny overstuffed chairs just goes way too far for me and also it’s not like those kids can put their feet on the ottoman they are just too short. 

Finally, and because of a lack of pictures taken by the realtor, our journey is cut all too short:

Rear Exterior

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That water slide just got dark. 

Anyways, that’s it for Louisiana. I’ll be in Cleveland on Sunday making acoustical measurements so if anyone wants to say hi hmu on Twitter or email or something. Join me next Wednesday for ACTUALLY KENTUCKY HOLY CRAP I SCREWED UP AND JUST REALIZED IT AT THE END OF THIS POST WOW. Anyway, have a great week!

If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon!  Also JUST A HEADS UP - I’ve started posting a GOOD HOUSE built since 1980 from the area where I picked this week’s McMansion as Wednesday bonus content on Patreon! Not into small donations and sick bonus content? Check out the McMansion Hell Store - 100% goes to charity.

Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs in this post are from real estate aggregate Zillow.com and are used in this post for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC §107. Manipulated photos are considered derivative work and are Copyright © 2017 McMansion Hell. Please email kate@mcmansionhell.com before using these images on another site. (am v chill about this)


50 States of McMansion Hell: Johnson County, Kansas

Hello Friends! Sorry for the late post - I got distracted yesterday by taking a moment to enjoy the beautiful weather after shutting myself in various libraries for so long as to not see the sun. :)

Welcome to Kansas - the heart of America. [Insert Wizard of Oz joke just to get that out of the way]. Did you know that Kansas was also the inspiration for the 19th century mathematical fantasy Flatland? Wow! The longing for topological variation explains the rather mountainous layout of our lovely estate:

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This classic Beigehaus™ was built in 1996, and boasts 4 bedrooms + 4.5 baths, totaling around 4800 square feet. It can be all yours for the LOW LOW price of 25,060 payments of $19.95 + S&H. Sorry no CoD.

Law Student Foyer

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The carpet on the stairs is what gets me. I swear I’ve stared at that floor in some sort of big box store as an impressionable child and it is here to haunt me for buying beer at Walmart over winter break.

Foyer/Dining

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Maximalism is coming and it is difficult to get right. I’m talking very, very, very, very difficult. I am going to have A DANG FIELD DAY and I CANNOT WAIT.

WHOLESOME LIVING ROOM

Because I know most of you are going through finals right now, I wanted to provide to you a small island of wholesomeness to get you through your day! Please remember to drink lots of water and take good care of yourselves during this time of deep strife. 

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:)

Place of devoted labor

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My mom is ready to pistol-whip the deer that have decided to stage a coup against her valiant attempts at landscaping. Also dumpster rococo is 100% a reverb-saturated girl band.

Sitting Room where people actually sit

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i am a v sensitive girl and hunting makes me sad bc i love birds & other folk and think the whole sport is only acceptable to control the deer population whose natural predators have been driven away due to habitat loss so people can build their fake ugly houses with massive useless lawns. 

Area for Mastication 

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sponge paint that looks like a wet kitchen sponge that is nearing the time for replacement = methodology becoming metaphor or something dumb like that.

Kitchen

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I like my friends and want to acknowledge and appreciate them :)

Master Bed

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That sitting area could be a 1996 exhibit in a design museum. That green marble tho. 

Master Bath

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gotta give people credit when they try. 

Bedroom 2 [sad]

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I can’t not be dark - I still have 2 exams next week. 

Basement

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Ah, high school - a time when I thought my classical music career would swiftly and effortlessly take off. 

And finally, our friend the rear exterior:

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Is there a new fancy 8-letter literary term for the deliberate subversion (really a deconstruction, thanks Derrida) of grammar and syntax in internet humor yet? Because I’m p sure high school English teachers would love that. 

Anyways, that does it for Kansas! Based on current exam priorities, there’s not going to be a Sunday post next week, but the schedule should be back on track the week after. Stay tuned for Wednesday’s Kentucky McMansion! 

If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon!  Also JUST A HEADS UP - I’ve started posting a GOOD HOUSE built since 1980 from the area where I picked this week’s McMansion as Wednesday bonus content on Patreon! Not into small donations and sick bonus content?  Check out the McMansion Hell Store - 100% goes to charity.

Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs in this post are from real estate aggregate Zillow.com and are used in this post for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC §107. Manipulated photos are considered derivative work and are Copyright © 2017 McMansion Hell. Please email kate@mcmansionhell.com before using these images on another site. (am v chill about this)