50 States of McMansion Hell: Douglas County, Nebraska
HELLO FRIENDS, I AM BACK! Thank you all so, so, much for your patience during my leave of absence - I haven’t had any sort of extended break from school, research, or work for almost a year, so this was desperately needed for my mental health. Now I’m back and feeling better than ever!
Today’s house is one of those special vintage time capsule houses, and I’m very eager to share it with you.
This 1994 house, boasts 5 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms totaling a whopping 8,000 square feet. It can be all yours for the low, low price of $1,200,000!
Little Lawyer Foyer on the Prairie (could not resist)
Patriotic or not, those flowers def clash with the red white and blue, what were they thinking???
Dining Room
I’ll concede: despite the exterior chaos, a lot of interior details of this house are very well-constructed. I’m not a fan of the mirrored bottom of the built-in, but the cabinetry is well-built compared to 99% of McMansions.
Still, those curtains are ridic.
Great Room
(whispers) “the dead dreams are of paying off the mortgage”
Office
Confession: my parents had a subscription to the leatherbound book club in the 90s, but my dad and I read the books for real. Nice books, shame they’re mostly used decoratively.
Also obligatory “Byron’s daughter was cooler than Byron” plug.
Living Room
At least you don’t have to water sticks, which works for lazy people like me.
Dining Nook
I thought the metal sphere chandeliers would die with industrial chic going out of style but jk they’re now made with “rustic” wood instead.
Kitchen
Me, an optimist: “at least you can make s’mores with stale graham crackers!”
Master Bedroom
fun fact: my socks are NOT MATCHING RIGHT NOW
Master Bathroom
Whomst among us also had a small CRT tv somewhere strange in one’s house in the 90s? (my parents had one in the kitchen)
Bedroom 2
Also fyi the Best Western rebrand is a national travesty.
Bedroom 3
*twinkling piano accompanied by litany of life-threatening side-effects*
Den
Seriously that sculpture looks like a prop from MST3k.
Rec Room / Bar
“TONIGHT ON BIG BROTHER: tonights CHALLENGE - FOUR PEOPLE attempt to use 8,000 SQUARE FEET OF SPACE in any kind of MEANINGFUL WAY who will SURVIVE THE NEXT ROUND”
(cut to teenage daughter)
“honestly, like, I just don’t know why Jimmy can’t play video games in more than one room of the house - he’s just, he’s (tears) just, like, really ruining our alliance here”
Finally, our tour comes to a close with our favorite part of the house:
Rear Exterior
I, extremely online, just remembered that the Patrick meme is, in fact, old. I’m sorry to have let you down like this, comrades. (sniffles)
Anyways, that does it for Nebraska! Stay tuned this week for our second Looking Around guest post: How to Identify Rowhouses! Have a great weekend, friends!
If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon! Also JUST A HEADS UP - I’ve started posting a GOOD HOUSE built since 1980 from the area where I picked this week’s McMansion as bonus content on Patreon!
Not into small donations and sick bonus content? Check out the McMansion Hell Store- 100% goes to charity.
Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs are used in this post under fair use for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC §107. Manipulated photos are considered derivative work and are Copyright © 2017 McMansion Hell. Please email kate@mcmansionhell.com before using these images on another site. (am v chill about this)
