McMansionHell Surprise Special: The McMansion Scale
Y’all thought you were getting an ugly house post. Instead, here’s something better; something truly useful.
How much of a McMansion is the house you’re looking at? Now there is a quantitative way to determine the level of McMansion in any design: The McMansion Scale.
This is a broad scale and doesn’t include things such as historic (old) houses, multi family housing, and folk or vernacular architecture. It can be separated into “Not a McMansion;” “Kind of a McMansion” and “Thar she blows!”
To view the scale at full resolution, click on it, or open it in a new tab in your browser window!
How to read this scale:
1-4: The Chill Zone
This is a chill zone to be in. The 1s are reserved for tiny houses and houses built in historically protected areas, and those built by architects working in the New Traditional style. The 2s are for small sized, classic house styles, and those designed by architects (they are usually obvious.) The 3s are for really traditional style houses with attached garages; the standard suburban home, if you will. If a house has either cascading gables OR a concealed multistory front entry, but follows the rest of the rules, it is a 4.
5-7: The Meh to Slightly Ugh Zone
5: if a house a few of the yellows, but at least one of the greens, it is a 5. This is the land of Meh. It is a safe place to be.
6: If a house has a few yellows, but one or two of the light pinks, it is a 6. For example, if a house was a generally good house, with a strong design, but had out of scale columns and a huge garage it would be a six. This is the category for houses with big garages, or one huge glaring error that kinda ruins it, like improperly sized dormers.
7: This is the zone of pushing it. 3 or more of the light pinks, or 1-2 of the dark pinks and you’re in the 7 zone. A classic 7 is a house that is symmetrical in design, but has stick on architecture, with an oversized pediment. The house attempts to imitate an architectural style and kinda botches it, but the intent is clear.
8-10: The McMansion Hell Zone
8: if a house has 3 or more of the dark pinks, and one of the reds, it is an eight. A nub automatically places a house in the 8 range, no exceptions.
9: If a house has two of the dark reds it is a 9. Usually 9s still have some kind of cohesion to them, even if it’s only color.
10: A 10 is literally the worst. If you have 3+ of the dark reds, you’re a 10. Sorry. These are the worst of the worst.
I hope you enjoy this special report! We will return to our regularly scheduled programming this Sunday as we finish up our A-Z of McMansionHell.
P.S. If you haven’t read this article I wrote for Atlas Obscura about why WE WERE OBSESSED WITH BEIGE, I highly recommend it!
